Ah, Liverpool fans. The loudest, the proudest, and the most loyal… until one of their own decides he fancies a bit of tapas.
Honestly, the way they've turned on Trent Alexander-Arnold since news of his move to Real Madrid was all but confirmed is peak Merseyside meltdown.
It's the most brutal overreaction since Sir Jim Ratcliffe sacked the Old Trafford tea ladies, the photocopier guy, and the bloke who waters the plants just to cover Mason Mount's weekly physio bill.
Fair enough, losing him for zilch in the summer stinks worse than Ange Postecoglou's jockstrap. And yeah, I'd be fuming too if the bloke I'd spent years lying to myself and rival fans about – 'no, seriously, he's not that bad defensively!' – suddenly decided to sod off.
But the shirt-burning? The disowning? The compilation videos of mistakes he's made? That's not fandom. That's a cult.
Trent Alexander-Arnold looks at the fans at Anfield
Trent Alexander-Arnold has been abused by a significant chunk of Liverpool's fanbase since his move to Real Madrid was all but confirmed (Image: Getty Images)
'Screw your aspirations, lad. Stay here until your legs fall off, or you're dead to us!' Not very You'll Never Walk Alone -y, is it?
Alexander-Arnold's won everything there is to win at Liverpool, and now fancies a new challenge.
A proper family club would slap him on the back and say "ta for the memories" – especially since he's not pulling a Steven Gerrard, their halo-polished loyalty god, who nearly skipped off to Chelsea in '05 faster than you can say "two sugars, Jose."
Instead, they're acting like he's dropkicked a kitten into the Kop while wearing an 'I Heart Maggie Thatcher' t-shirt. It's unhinged – Jamie-Carragher-gobbing-at-a-kid-through-a-car-window levels of unhinged.
In the words of Harry Enfield: "Calm down, calm down!"
Greal-ly petty
If you thought Liverpool fans were a bunch of melodramatic prima donnas, Aston Villa's lot are the undisputed grandmasters of irrational, frothing-at-the-mouth bitterness.
Jack Grealish gestures to the crowd after being targeted by Aston Villa fans
Jack Grealish gestures to the crowd after being targeted by Aston Villa fans (Image: PA)
I mean, at least Alexander-Arnold's skipping town for free – what's Villa's excuse for their endless hate for Jack Grealish?
The lad didn't just stick around when they nosedived into the Championship like Arsenal's title hopes every February – he hauled them back up and banked them £100million, which looks like a bigger steal than the one Harry Maguire's been living at Manchester United, lumbering about like a £80m wardrobe on wheels.
He didn't betray them, yet Villa fans despise him more than Chelsea despise managerial longevity. But why?
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Unai Emery's got them soaring – punching above their weight like Tyson Fury after a pie binge – all while Grealish twiddles his thumbs on Manchester City's bench, giving their supporters a masterclass in something they desperately need: how to actually fill a bloody seat.
Hating him is as nonsensical as Tottenham fans hating Harry Kane, or City fans hating slimy, oil-slicked lawyers. He's not your Judas – he's a Brummie cash cow you milked dry.