Liverpool have won the Premier League title, but there is a desperation to make this all rather more dramatic than it is…
Person of interest
Liverpool beat Everton on Wednesday night and James Tarkowski should have been sent off. He knows it. The Liverpool fans know it. Even Mike Dean knows it. Even the PGMOL know it, though they cannot apparently say that in public.
Yes, the decision was controversial but nobody is claiming otherwise. So the only path remaining for the click-baiters is to pretend that something else happened that somehow escaped the cameras, the officials, and crucially you…
‘What James Tarkowski did at full-time spotted after avoiding red card for horror lunge in Liverpool vs Everton clash’ – The Sun.
‘Spotted’? It was on Sky Sports. Look:
James Tarkowski apologises to Alexis Mac Allister at full-time 🤝 pic.twitter.com/EO09rZ47Zx
— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) April 2, 2025
But what amused Mediawatch greatly was The Sun’s sub-headline: ‘Liverpool star had an interesting response to the gesture.’
His ‘interesting response’ was to act like a normal human being and seemingly accept the apology. That’s not ‘interesting’, it’s what people do when they are not mentalists and have just won a game of football that puts them close to the first Premier League title of their career.
Exorcise classOver at the Daily Telegraph, Liverpool super-fan journalist Chris Bascombe is desperately trying to deny that Liverpool have the title in the bag, bringing up the ‘decades of ghosts’ of seasons past, despite no other club – never mind Liverpool – ever being 12 points clear with eight games left to play and going on to lose the title. If Liverpool fail from here, they will absolutely be top of the bottle jobs chart.
‘This could have been eerily and despairingly familiar for Merseyside’s league leaders. For Chelsea’s Demba Ba in the spring of 2014, read Everton’s Beto in April 2025. The outcome may prove equally consequential in determining which name is engraved onto the Premier League trophy,’ he writes.
Sorry to be curt but ‘will it bollocks’.
This was the Premier League table before that game v Chelsea in 2014…
…while even if Liverpool actually lost v Everton on Wednesday night, they would have been nine points clear with eight games left to play. There is no real jeopardy here, and certainly none to remotely match 2014.
‘Should the ticker-tape parade begin in this stadium on May 25, Caoimhin Kelleher could be forgiven for leading a ceremonial kissing of his right post before receiving the silverware, acknowledging how it came to his club’s rescue on this emotionally charged night.’
As Liverpool will probably win the title by at least 10 points, we suspect that no f***er will even remember that Liverpool narrowly beat Everton 1-0 in a season which has seen them lose just one game. Some title races just do not have A Moment.
Bascombe knows this, but he has set off down this path…
‘Sliding-doors moments are in danger of being name-checked to the point of cliché when analysing matches, seasons and even eras.
‘Had Beto taken his chance to leave Virgil van Dijk fearing seeing his defensive mishap replayed as often as Steven Gerrard’s 11 years ago, Liverpool’s response at the start of the second half may have given them the necessary momentum to restore their 12-point lead over Arsenal.’
And yet there you are, trying to turn this incident – almost entirely forgotten by everybody else by about 9pm – into a ‘consequential’ moment that will see a goalkeeper kissing his post in seven weeks’ time.
‘And yet there was an unshakeable sense that the Merseyside derby was evolving like a reconstruction of Jose Mourinho parking double-decker buses around Anfield the last time Liverpool turned into the closing straight with a lead and a raucous crowd begging them to cross the line.’
Really? There’s a world of difference between a nine-point lead with nine games to play and the situation in 2014. It’s not even in the same ballpark.
‘The neutrals have been calling the title race a formality for weeks, and will no doubt reassert that view following the latest victory. There are enough demons to banish to guarantee nothing can be taken for granted when Liverpool are closing in on a championship.’
‘Demons to banish’? Liverpool have bottled one Premier League title. This is all very romantic but ‘go back to the Rafael Benítez era and he will name-check Arsenal’s Andrey Arshavin scoring four to halt a title charge in 2009’ rather ignores the fact that Liverpool would have lost that particular title even if they had beat Arsenal.
Yes, Liverpool could have won two Premier League titles that instead went to Manchester City on final days, but again, that’s a million miles away from being 12 points clear with eight left to play. The ‘neutrals’ have been calling this a formality precisely because it is.
Bolster moreAlthough this day belongs to Liverpool, we simply cannot resist this particular flavour of nonsense from the Mirror:
’11 Arsenal stars facing transfer exit as Andrea Berta bids to bolster spending power’
On closer inspection the 11 ‘Arsenal stars’ are as follows:
Raheem Sterling
Neto
Thomas Partey
Jorginho
Kieran Tierney
You will spot that none of the above will ‘bolster spending power’ because all of the above will not be Arsenal’s to sell by the end of the season.
Oleksandr Zinchenko
Jakub Kiwior
Nuno Tavares
Albert Sambi Lokonga
Reiss Nelson
Fabio Vieira
So of the ’11 Arsenal stars’, only one (Thomas Partey) has started more than seven Premier League games this season for the Gunners. And somewhat crucially, only six of them will bring in any money at all. And if we’re being particularly generous, they might get £70m for the lost.
Does that count as a ‘bolster’? It’s barely even a pillow.