The Olympics are great. Football is great. Football in the Olympics?
It’s going to be awful.
On Tuesday, the NFL made the news official: the league will allow its players to participate in Flag Football in the 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles.
All of this is a terrible idea.
For lots of reasons.
1. Flag football is a terrible spectator sport —Flag football is a terrific gym class or recreational activity. It’s a great way to introduce younger kids to football skills before they’re ready for the tackle variety. It’s one step beyond Olympic Ultimate Frisbee.
But it’s not a good sport to watch.
It wasn’t interesting at the Pro Bowl and will be even less so at the Olympics.
It eliminates all the things Americans love about football: the grit, the rugged physicality, the urgency to make a throw before getting it. The bravery of going across the middle.
This would be guys in shorts playing 5-on-5. It’s middle school recess on steroids.
2. Games involving Team USA won’t be competitive and games without the Americans will be really low-level — This would be bad even if it was a tournament with several elite teams, but it isn’t. The United States is the only country that really plays football seriously. There are other countries that dabble, but not even at a level that would be competitive in college.
Four percent of the players in the NFL in 2024 were born outside the United States and none of them played quarterback.
Other than the league’s attention-addicted owners, who benefits from the Americans winning 77-0?
This is not going to grow the NFL globally. It’s not like these fledgling federations will leave the Olympics motivated to build up and get on the medal stand in Australia in 2032. Flag football is going to be dropped as an Olympic sport as soon as the torch is extinguished in Los Angeles.
Football works as a spectator sport in three ways. High school games on Friday nights. College football on Saturdays and NFL games at any time and in any place.
Every attempt to create summer football, spring football, minor league football, European football and god knows what else has been a failure because it’s all substandard, gimmicky, mediocre football.
The same will be true for Olympic flag football.
3. Somebody is going to get hurt — Without line play and true blocking, extra yards are gained by planting and cutting. How are teams going to feel when Amon-Ra St. Brown sprains an ankle or Justin Jefferson tears his Achilles in the middle of an 84-6 win over Austria.
It’s nice that these NFL players have Olympic dreams, but these would be among the least impressive gold medals in history.
RIP Norm Peterson
An empty bar stool, a mug of beer, a candle. Cheers in Boston mourns 'Norm' actor George Wendt.
Boston, MA - May 21: Customers line up outside the Cheers Pub next to a note of condolence and flowers in honor of the late actor George Wendt who played Norm on the TV show Cheers. The actor was 76. (Photo by Suzanne Kreiter/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)Boston Globe via Getty Images
Watching the Chevy Chase movie Fletch, the scenes on the beach are off-putting because when the drug-dealing vagrant Fat Sam, played by George Wendt, comes on the screen, it’s impossible not to think “NORRRM!”
Wendt, a well-loved TV, movie and theater actor, was forever Norm, the one-line shooting, beer-guzzling, Vera-avoiding, lovable chump at the end of the bar at Cheers. The character was beloved in Boston because he was one of us.
Even when Wednt would visit Saturday Night Live to do a “Da Bears” sketch, he was basically playing Chicago Norm.
The best part about the finale of Cheers is that there was no climactic finale. Even though there were no more episodes, we’re left to believe that Norm and Cliff are still sitting in those familiar stools for eternity.
On Tuesday, Wendt/Norm died at home at age 76. Whatever comes next, hopefully, there was a comfortable stool and a cold beer waiting for him.
Real Jeopardy! Clue
Sports clues from actual editions of America’s favorite quiz show. As always, mind the date
CATEGORY: COLLEGE SPORTS MASCOTS $1000:
A live American bison, Ralphie is the mascot of this school at the base of the Rocky Mountains.
— Answer below
The Top 5
(BONUS!) Top 10 Norm Peterson lines
In honor of George Wendt, here’s Norm at his best:
10- Woody: What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: The question is what’s going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody.
9 — Sam: Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.
8 — Coach: What’s shakin’ Norm?
Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins Coach.
7 — Woody: Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early isn’t it, Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.
6 — Woody: “Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?”
Norm: ”Alright, but stop me at one... make that one-thirty."
5 — It’s a dog-eat-dog world, Woody, & I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear."
4 - Coach: What’s the story Norm?
Norm: Boy meets beer, boy drinks beer, boy orders another beer.
3 - Coach: What can I do for you, Norm?
Norm: I need something to kill time before my second beer. How about a first one?
2 - Sam: How’s life treating you Norm?
Norm: Like it caught me in bed with its wife.
1 - Coach: What are you up to, Norm?
Norm: My ideal weight if I was 11 feet tall
Today in Boston Sports History
May 23
1976 — Dave Cowens had 25 points and 21 rebounds for the Celtics in Game 1 of the Finals against the Suns. The Celtics won 98-87 and eventually won the series in six games.
Lightning round
I’m through seven of eight episodes and Netflix’s The Four Seasons remake is really good.
Panthers, Stars, Thunder and Pacers in six.
I genuinely like the Red Sox Green Monster City Connect uniforms.
Just a few weeks ago, NBA players anonymously voted Tyrese Haliburton as the league’s most overrated player. Now he might win the Bill Russell Trophy.
Anyone who thinks Alex Cora shouldn’t have taken a day off for his daughter’s graduation has warped priorities.
Real Jeopardy! Question:
Who is Colorado?
Headline Crystal Ball:
Monday:
Fake Headline
The Crystal Ball says the big move isn't far off.Fake Headlines INC
Trying this again.
Last week: I had Celtics forcing Game 7. Spoiler alert: They didn’t.
Finally...
If you need me, I’ll be on vacation.