Callum Wilson has bravely revealed that he considered taking his own life as a child.
The [Newcastle United](https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/all-about/newcastle-united-fc) striker was the first to admit that 'life was a struggle' as the eldest of six children in a single-parent household with a different father to his siblings.
[Wilson](https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/all-about/callum-wilson) endured a difficult upbringing in Coventry and the number nine spent time in foster care and safehouses after his mother experienced domestic abuse.
"I would cry myself to sleep at night," the Newcastle United striker told High Performance.
"I got to about 12, 13 and no one really knows this to be honest and I was debating whether to say it, but my wife said to be open and tell people your story.
"There were suicidal moments basically. Ultimately, when I say I cried myself to sleep, I was just praying to God to take me out of this environment.
"I want to become a footballer but I wanted to do something and achieve something in terms of financial gains at that time to get me out of the environment that I was in.
"My mum does not even know that to be honest, but it was something that now as I'm older and I'm a dad myself and you realise it probably was a trauma that I'm working with therapy.
"It was thinking that I have too much to offer in terms of life. I was so young at the time and just thinking that this can't be all life has to offer.
"There's more out there for me. There was a higher power that was calling me and football was my saviour. It was my escape."
He added: "My mum never drove so I'd always get picked up by my Sunday league coach and dropped back again, but when I would leave my home environment, I was going into what felt like a family with my peers.
"The coach was fantastic. He had a nice family and they would sometimes get me food on the way home.
"I got that love and care that I probably wasn't getting as much in my house and that was not by choice.
"It was no fault of my mum's - it was the environment that was dictating who I was becoming really and what was around. Football was what helped me get away from it all."
_Samaritans can be contacted in the UK on freephone 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org. You can get in touch with Mind by calling 0300 123 3393 or visiting mind.org.uk._