Despite what Mikel Arteta may think, the two best teams in the Champions League this season are set to do battle in the final on Saturday.
An intriguing clash of styles will also provide an excellent source of shame and embarrassment for the Premier League thanks to participants that have either shone for PSG or Inter Milan after a less than successful period in the English top flight, or were denied the chance of proving their quality in The Best League In The World through some fuzzy thinking on the part of decision-makers.
Here are 10 individuals prompting dips in the Premier League shame well.
Vitinha
Wolves fans can take some solace in the fact that if Vitinha had been putting in anything like the sort of performances he is for Paris Saint-Germain right now in his season at Molineux, he would be bound for brighter things anyway.
But we assume there’s a certain amount of regret on the part of the Wolves chiefs that Nuno Espirito Santo didn’t give him the chance to prove himself worthy of the £17m required to make his loan move from Porto permanent in the summer of 2021 given he’s now valued at £50m by Transfermarkt and a helluva lot more by PSG, who have every right to claim they have the best central midfielder on the planet right now.
Luis Enrique
He was the betting favourite to take over at Arsenal in 2018, but the board plumped for Unai Emery to replace Arsene Wenger as they felt Enrique was both too expensive and too ‘self-absorbed’ after coaching Barcelona to a Treble.
Chelsea questioned his ‘temperament’ as they looked for Antonio Conte’s replacement before giving no specific reason for snubbing him again after face-to-face talks in their ‘exhaustive’ and exhausting process to find a new boss after Graham Potter.
And if it wasn’t for a winter World Cup, Enrique may currently be in charge of Manchester United, or at least would have been for a time…
READ MORE: Arsenal, Chelsea rejected Luis Enrique for same damning reasons but one thing stopped Man Utd appointment
Yann Sommer
Sommer was very high on Manchester United’s shortlist to replace David De Gea in the summer of 2023, and although Bayern Munich swooped in the January window to ruin the Red Devils’ chances of a free transfer, it was Inter who then took advantage of a ‘gentleman’s agreement’ with the Bundesliga club to secure his £6m signing as a replacement for the guy United bought for £44m as their new No.1.
And while Sommer has played a vital role in securing Inter’s place in the Champions League final, pulling off several remarkable saves in the knockout stages, United got to the Europa League final in spite of Andre Onana, who then definitely could have done better to deny Brennan Johnson his winning goal for Tottenham.
Matteo Darmian
Like you might thank an unattractive ex-girlfriend for dumping you as you stand next to your perfect wife, reflecting on his four-season career break at Old Trafford having helped Inter to the Champions League final in 2023, Darmian said: “I have to say thank you to them [United] because if I’m the player and person that I am, it’s also because of them.”
He’s now set for another Champions League final after over 200 appearances for Inter, two Scudettos and two Coppa Italias. On his behalf, again, thank you Manchester United.
Henrikh Mkhitaryan
If you believe this list to be just another way for us to take unnecessary potshots at Manchester United and kick them while they’re down, you’re not wrong but also must concede that a) it’s impossible to resist to given the regularity off their f*ck-ups, and b) it remains excellent fun.
Mkhitaryan counts as another misstep, but his imminent part in a second Champions League final is more embarrassing for Arsenal, who bought him for the price of an Alexis Sanchez after 18 inauspicious months at Old Trafford ahead of similar humdrum displays at the Emirates before he left for Serie A on a free transfer in 2020.
Ousmane Dembele
There’s no specific club-shaming here, but pretty much all of the big boys have been linked with Dembele at some point over the last five years or so – Arsenal in a swap deal with Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang perhaps the most notable – and we’re guessing the bigwigs were of a similar mind to the rest of us in thinking they needed to steer clear of a Fancy Dan who was destined to never reach a full potential that he has now realised in spectacular fashion during a 33-goal, 13-assist season for PSG.
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Marko Arnautovic
We’re back to chewing out Manchester United after a brief palate cleanser, and Arnautovic snubbing their reportedly ‘desperate’ attempts to sign him in order to stay at Bologna in the summer of 2022.
We were stifling chuckles even as United’s interest came to light, which we couldn’t contain after hearing it was the former Stoke and West Ham striker who told them where to go rather the Red Devils backing out of what was being described as a ‘PR disaster’ signing.
They avoided that hoo-ha by landing Wout Weghorst. Close call.
Denzel Dumfries
Aaron Wan-Bissaka is also the cause of embarrassment for United given his displays for West Ham this season as part of the ex-Man Utd XI that would give Ruben Amorim’s side a good roasting.
But Erik ten Hag being ‘uninterested’ in using him as part of a swap deal to land Denzel Dumfries in January 2024, ahead of Wan-Bissaka’s departure that summer, has gained sliding doors status in the interim on the back of United’s switch to 3-4-3 and Dumfries’ continued brilliance as quite possibly the best wing-back in world football.
Fabian Ruiz
Shame on Arsenal here, who plumped for Mikel Merino despite holding talks with Ruiz and PSG last summer, but more on Manchester United, obviously, who reportedly lowballed Napoli – who only wanted £21m for the £45m-rated star – in the midst of their obsession with signing Frenkie De Jong from Barcelona in 2022, which ended in their infamous £60m panic signing of the 30-year-old Casemiro.
Simone Inzaghi
Daniel Levy is reportedly keeping a beady eye on Inzaghi’s current situation amid a contract dispute with Inter that could see him leave the club after the Champions League final. He currently earns around £4m per year and wants nearly double that, which is also presumably more than the Spurs penny-pincher is willing to offer, but if you’re asking us whether we think the Italian is worth £3m more per year than Ange Postecoglou, we would draw your attention to the Premier League table.
Regret you won’t find on Merseyside after Liverpool went in a different direction to replace Jurgen Klopp you may well find in the boardrooms at Chelsea and Manchester United, after the Blues looked at Inzaghi before plumping for Mauricio Pochettino, while the Inter boss was somewhere close to the top of Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s shortlist last summer before Ineos’ thorough top-down review of the club led to Ten Hag’s contract being extended.