April 17th - 2022. Newcastle 2 - 1 Leicester. For me, this game sticks vividly in the mind.
I was at my Aunt and Uncle's house for a belated 'Easter Sunday' family affair. We had the game on in the background, a game Newcastle stole at the death thanks to a devastating counter-attack that ended with new signing Bruno Guimaraes heading in from close range. The celebrations were delirious, Bruno was mobbed, and the Geordie nation celebrated three points that all but sealed an unlikely Premier League survival.
Casting her eye to the telly, my Mum remarked "who is he? He looks delighted, bless him." She was of course, talking about Bruno, grinning from ear to ear as he spoke in limited English to the Sky commentators post-match. My Mum doesn't watch football, doesn't care about it. But even she could pick up on the body language of a young lad who, whether he wanted to or not, was falling uncontrollably in love with the city, the people, the club of Newcastle.
And Bruno's English didn't stay limited for long. He immersed himself in the language and culture of Newcastle. By the end of the season, he was brandishing Brazil flags thrown to him by the crowd in a 3-0 win away at Norwich. Two years later, he was clad in a black and white jester hat on the final day at Brentford. He was pictured off-season wearing retro Newcastle shirts, and a year on from that, he was face down in the turf, crying uncontrollably as he realised he had lived every Geordie's dream... he had ended the trophy drought that had hung like black clouds over the banks of the Tyne for 70 years.
Bruno Guimaraes is a remarkable player, but an even more remarkable character. He exudes passion, emotion and a transparence that is so rare in football these days. To the unaware, casual observers like my Mum, you'd think Bruno had been born and raised a Geordie.
So why have I dedicated an ode to our captain in an article headlined around Manchester United?
Well, Bruno Guimaraes and his teammates exhibit something that those in Manchester aren't; United.
Bruno hug
Eddie Howe hugs Bruno Guimaraes: a game that will love long in my memory
Manchester United fans have returned to their insufferable former selves in light of the Bryan Mbeumo news...
Like most Geordies, I was quietly hopeful we would be in the running for Bryan Mbeumo. Pacey, direct, hard-working... he is everything Eddie Howe looks for in a player. The 20 Premier League goals this season were just the icing on the cake.
But of course, in this modern age of football, where accountants are more valuable than a star striker, PSR reigns supreme, and the Premier League is in a financial stranglehold of the Super League Six, those with the money and PSR headroom still hold all the cards.
So was it really surprising when notable transfer gurus David Ornstein and Fabrizio Romano announced that Mbeumo had opted for Manchester United?
I can think of (250,000) reasons why, to be honest.
For Newcastle United fans, it was a disappointment. But I think for the message of football as a whole, it was a damning indictment.
Aston Villa, for everything they did right this season, have paid the PSR price for missing out on the Champions League via goal difference, and now face the prospect of selling a fourth star player in 12 months to balance the books.
Manchester United, meanwhile, can afford to finish 15th, miss out on European football entirely, and still dangle obscene wages like a carrot on a stick.
And aren't Manchester United fans loving it?
I promised to be nice. After all, Manchester United did us a favour against Villa on the final day. But when a prominent Manchester United YouTuber aimed a barb at Newcastle fans, calling Manchester the 'Real United', I finally cracked.
Mbeumo 2
Bryan Mbeumo: The Cameroonian winger is choosing the same path as Paul Pogba... Alexis Sanchez... Angel di Maria... and so many others.
There is nothing United about the folk at Old Trafford right now.
'United (adjective) - joined together politically, for a common purpose, or by common feelings.'
The only common feelings among the Manchester United squad these days are apathy, disillusionment and disappointment.
At Newcastle, we've regularly talked about wanting players that 'want' to play for the club; that can adopt the city like a second home, and let the spirit of the club get under their skin. We've seen it with Bruno. We've seen it with Tonali. We've seen it with Gordon. And that's before we even mention the boyhood Newcastle fans like Dan Burn, Sean Longstaff, Jacob Murphy, Lewis Hall and Lewis Miley. Even former player Elliot Anderson had a front row seat to watch his boyhood club lift the silverware at Wembley. You can take the boy out of Newcastle...
Now, I want you to name me three Manchester United players that clearly love playing for the club. Bruno Fernandes? Yes, I can see that.
After that, I'm rather stuck. Rasmus Hojlund's spirit has been utterly broken this season. Alejandro Garnacho's relationship with Ruben Amorim has capitulated. Marcus Rashford has completely turned his back on his boyhood club. Jason Sancho compared his Manchester United contract to a prison sentence. Even local lad Kobbie Mainoo is linked with a move away. These Manchester United players look terrified to wear the Manchester United shirt at best, at the worst, they look apathetic to every single defeat that passes them by.
But one thing that 'unites' them all, is the £200K+ weekly salary. The 'beautiful' game, indeed...
You won't find a single Newcastle player on that wage. At Manchester United, you'd struggle to find a first team regular who isn't on that wage. When did such abject performances start getting so handsomely rewarded? There were times when Manchester United fans accused Manchester City of buying their way to success. Now, not only are Manchester United spending more than any other club in the history of English football, they aren't even getting the success that the Citys... the Chelseas... the Blackburns once did when they shattered their own wage structures.
If the rumours are true, Bryan Mbeumo is joining a club that is 'United' only in name.
Tonali and bruno
Sandro and Bruno: Smells Like Team Spirit
So what next for Newcastle?
For every Barella... there was a Tonali
For every Maddison... there was a Barnes
For every Ekitike... there was an Isak
For every Emery... there was an Eddie Howe.
What I like about this Newcastle recruitment strategy is that we don't get held to ransom. We sign players based on character first, ability second... as evidenced in the first window with the likes of Trippier, Burn, Guimaraes and Wood. They fought tooth and nail to keep us up. And on those steady foundations, we added a sprinkle of magic with the quiet humility yet deadly finishing of Alexander Isak, the resourcefulness and dogged determination of Anthony Gordon, and the redemption arc of all redemption arcs that is Sandro Tonali.
If these lads wanted an easy payday, they could have picked the Manchester Uniteds like Mbeumo has... the Tottenhams like Maddison did... or the PSGs like Ekitike did. And this obsession with 'throwing money at the problem' is exactly why Manchester United are where they are, and we're where we are.
The real 'United'? There's only one correct answer. And it's the one that celebrated their first trophy in 56 years... earned champions league football... and allowed a city to dream together as one... completely and utterly... united.
Don't let one transfer spoil your summer, everyone. It's a beautiful thing watching this Newcastle team at the moment, full of so many vibrant and wonderful characters that absolutely love pulling on that famous black and white shirt. There are some things £250K per week can't buy... but that doesn't stop Jim Ratcliffe's mob from trying.