OBR Newswire Bloviation Header
Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans!
So, it's June now. Things slow down a bit. The national folks wander off to titter about how the Browns have the worst roster in the league, the Cooler conversation turns to the color of facemasks or military history, and I kick back to ponder whether bourbon pairs well with whatever my wife has made for dinner. Not that it matters.
Meanwhile, unnoticed, the AFC North quietly goes insane.
Yes, well, there was some attention to the belated signing of Aaron Rodgers by the Steelers, a move so desperate at the quarterback position that it would make Browns legend Jake Delhomme blush. After all, the Steelers had only Mason Rudolph and his punchable face at the position, a guy so inept that Skip Bayless likes him and Myles Garrett felt the need to bonk him on the head so that he might finally realize that he's not an NFL-level quarterback.
The signing of Rodgers, a player so goofy that State Farm replaced him with commercials featuring various members of the Kansas City Chiefs eating chicken nuggets, runs 100% against the reputation of the Steelers as a serious franchise. Even Terry Bradshaw thinks it's a joke. The only upside to the AFC North's reputation as a tough division is that Rodgers can go on a podcast and make Mike Florio's ears bleed, which would be a serious sign of cranial damage in most instances.
At the same time, the Baltimore Ratbirds seem jealous of the attention that the Steelers are getting as a potential clown show. So, they invited Jon Gruden, who is now affiliated with Barstool Sports, to hang out at OTAs and bless them with his wisdom. Moreover, word spread that Adam Sandler offered Rat RB Derrick Henry a movie role if he runs for over 2,000 yards this season. Appearing in Adam Sandler movies has done so much good for David Spade's career that I'll assume it's a punishment of some sort and that Sander is on our side.
Aaron Rodgers
Banned from State Farm commercials for goofiness (Photo: USA TODAY Sports)
The Browns know who the serious team in the division is. It's the orange and brown. Joe Flacco won't even dance, since he's so serious about returning the team to the top. The AFCN Division crown is assured now. None of which explains why the national press is so determined to stuff Kirk Cousins into the Browns crowded QB room, but I guess they assume that the Browns need to out-silly the rest of the division.
As for the Browns, there were still some leftovers from Jim Schwartz's discussion about the defense on Wednesday that made the Newswire:
STADIUM PELTED: According to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, "public rage" is erupting over the dome funding plans. If so, that public rage hasn't reached these pages, where stadium news is largely ignored beyond my cynical views of its inevitability. Granted this isn't the first time the state government has raided the unclaimed funds stash, but I haven't seen much hubbub about unclaimed funds other than Browns fans checking to see if they have any cash there. I found over $1600 in my wife's unclaimed funds stash, so it's worth the effort.
While all this "public rage" rages, the Browns serenely break ground on Berea upgrades and continue their plans to build a dome in Brook Park.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Have a good one! GO BROWNS!
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