On the evening of January 26, 1986, the Chicago Bears annihilated the New England Patriots, 46-10, to win Super Bowl XX. During that same contest, their Honey Bears cheerleading squad took part in the halftime show with a dance to Prince’s classic banger “Baby I’m a Star.”
For weary fans, that seems like the last good night in Bears history.
After bringing the Lombardi Trophy to Chicago, owner Virginia McCaskey celebrated by firing the Honey Bears.
The NFL’s charter franchise has not had a cheerleading squad since. Also over that same span of time, they’ve had precisely zero championships to cheer.
Like all ownership visionaries, perhaps McCaskey knew that employing cheerleaders to celebrate winning football games was a needless expense.
As the Bears employed a succession of quarterbacks from Cade McNown to Peter Tom Willis to Rex Grossman to Rick Mirer, perhaps it was more appropriate to turn the Soldier Field sideline into an empty void of shame.
Now that Chicago’s Super Bowl drought has stretched over four decades, some fans have taken to dubbing it “The Curse of the Honey Bears.”
The Honey Bears perform at Super Bowl XX which turned out to be their final night as an NFL cheerleading squad. Credit: Manny Rubio-Imagn Images
Although the Honey Bears were created by Bears founder (and McCaskey’s father) George Halas, the Bears matriarch had expressed a desire to get rid of them for years after taking over the team.
Scuttlebutt was that McCaskey found the idea of cheerleaders “degrading to women.” To be fair, considering the way women in sports were treated in the 1980s, she probably wasn’t wrong.
Nonetheless, after canning the Honey Bears, McCaskey stubbornly refused to change her stance for the rest of her life. Once her sons assumed control of the team upon her passing this past February, they gave no indication that things would be different from her vow that “As long as I own the Bears, there will never be female cheerleaders on the sidelines.”
Enter the new Chicago Bears male cheerleaders
But therein lies the potential solution to all of Chicago’s football problems. From the wording of her statement, it seems pretty clear…
If the Bears want to break the Curse of the Honey Bears and win another Super Bowl, they need to employ a male cheerleader team.
In deference to Halas, call them the Papa Bears.
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There’s something about a cheer squad of buff dancers dressed in skintight Spandex versions of Mike Ditka’s trademark “BEARS” sweater breaking it down to a Kim Petras mix of “The Super Bowl Shuffle” that says “make reservations for Santa Clara in January.”
The Bears don’t have to sign a sponsorship deal with Cell Block in Boystown or add an extra line in the budget for stitching an orange wishbone C onto two dozen harnesses. But if they get on a roll, we’re not going to stop them.
With NFL teams like the New Orleans Saints and Baltimore Ravens one-upping each other over the number of male cheerleaders on their rosters, this would put the Bears on the cutting edge of the NFL. Which would be the first time that happened since they played in leather helmets.
(Against all odds, that sentence is referring to the football Bears. I couldn’t believe it either and I wrote it.)
There’s never been a better time to give this a shot.
If the Bears worry about Chicago sports fans objecting, all they have to do is point to the Cubs who ended their infamous championship drought just a few years after unveiling a male mascot who doesn’t wear pants.
Plus nothing goes better with an all-male cheerleading squad than a future All-Pro quarterback with painted nails.
If the Bears want to help quarterback Caleb Williams accessorize his nail polish with a Super Bowl ring, it’s time to break the Curse of the Honey Bears once and for all.
“Looking for men to dance for Bears.” The response to this Craigslist ad is going to be epic.
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