No, I’m not joking. Do not adjust your phone settings. West Ham really are chasing a 38-year-old striker, according to a report in The Sun.
It’s not my intention to trigger anybody unnecessarily — particularly following the signing of Callum Wilson — but the Hammers are rumoured to want to sign Jamie Vardy.
Yes, I know it’s only The Sun, but honestly, you wouldn’t put it past the West Ham board, would you? A “top source” at the London Stadium spent the best part of two years telling Claret & Hugh that Wilson was too injury-prone to sign… and we went and did it anyway.
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David Sullivan did attempt to sign Vardy in 2016 after Leicester City’s Premier League triumph, and even then I remember thinking he was a bit on the old side. Well, nine years and a lot of grey hairs later, the Currant Bun is still saying we’re chasing him.
West Ham tried to sign Vardy earlier this century
Look, you can read it for yourselves if you wish — Brentford, Wrexham, and West Ham are named, with Celtic said to be the favourites (thank goodness). Vardy is said to want a reunion with Brendan Rodgers which seems like an excellent idea to me.
But stranger things have happened, I guess. I wouldn’t be too surprised to see Vardy, Phil Neville, and Kalvin Phillips all giving it the crossed Hammers sign in a big media reveal sometime next week.
That said, I’m beginning to wonder if there was a typo in the memo which was supposed to say “reduce the average age of the West Ham squad”.