Ryan Evans moved to Western New York in the mid-1990s and became a Buffalo Bills fan a few years after the team’s memorable four-year run of Super Bowl appearances.
It was a little too late to celebrate the full scope of near glory, but close enough that Evans still saw the Bills, led by quarterbacks Jim Kelly and Doug Flutie, make the playoffs from 1995-99. Then Evans endured the Bills’ 17-season playoff drought, a dubious stretch that ran until 2016.
Evans grew up in Pittsford and lives in the Minneapolis suburbs, so he also claims the Twins, Timberwolves and Minnesota United FC as his favorite teams.
One would expect Evans to be miserable, as a fan of Buffalo and Minnesota-based teams. In fact, a recent ESPN quiz dubbed the “Sports Misery Index” and even gauged Evans as being “woeful.”
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Bills quarterback Doug Flutie scores the game winner vs. the Jaguars on Oct. 18, 1998, at Rich Stadium in Orchard Park. Buffalo News file photo
“I thought it would be a little bit better, but I can see where (ESPN) is coming from,” Evans said. “The Sabres are an absolute anchor. The Twins, they went how long without even winning a playoff game? The Timberwolves, outside the last couple years – ‘woeful’ has been a pretty good word for it. I thought I’d get at least a little bump up, but those two teams can’t finish.
“Maybe I got dinged more for the Bills. I miss the early years of the glory years, but the last few years have been pretty successful.”
ESPN on Aug. 13 released its Sports Misery Index, an interactive tool that ranks if fans of certain teams are “woeful,” “flailing,” “meh,” “pleasant” or “elated” about the team or teams in which they are invested.
One would think Buffalo fans, given the recent highs of the Bills and lows of the Sabres, would rate somewhere between “flailing” and “meh,” but ESPN’s tool can pinpoint exactly how people should feel about their Western New York fandom.
First, you predict how you will feel: Woeful, flailing, meh, pleasant or elated.
Then you search for your favorite team or teams in the NBA, NHL, Major League Baseball, NFL, Major League Soccer, WNBA and NWSL, and how long you have been a fan of each team.
Then, hit the button that reads “See results.”
Brace yourself. An algorithm calculates several factors, including a team’s regular-season and playoff success, its success against expectations (For example, an NHL team that’s predicted to win only 35 games wins 47 in a season), success in recent seasons versus success 20 years ago, and an individual’s length of time as a fan of a team or teams.
‘You are: Woeful’
ESPN boasts that this tool will “take a hard look at the teams you love.”
Does it ever.
If you’ve been a fan of the Sabres and Bills for at least 15 years, ESPN’s Misery Index gives it to you straight.
1999: Brett Hull's controversial overtime goal lifts Dallas Stars to Stanley Cup title (copy) (copy)
Although Sabres fans do not need a caption, this is the moment before the Stars won their first Stanley Cup. Brett Hull’s controversial goal late in the third overtime gave Dallas a 2-1 victory over Buffalo in Game 6 in 1999. Associated Press file photo
“You are: Woeful.”
A score of 89–100 is the most miserable; a score of 0 is the most elated.
(As if Western New York needs any more reminders.)
Five to 15 years? Still woeful.
Less than five years? Flailing. The Josh Allen Era has been good to you. The Rasmus Dahlin Era? Not so much.
Buffalo sports fans almost take ownership of their misery. There have been more than a few despondent moments in local sports history, including:
1999, No Goal. Brett Hull still can’t buy a drink in Western New York after scoring one of the most controversial goals in Stanley Cup final history.
1991, Wide Right. Scott Norwood’s 47-yard field-goal attempt is still sailing, somewhere, where the old Tampa Stadium used to be.
2024, Wide Right, Part II. Tyler Bass missed a game-tying field goal against the Chiefs, but his misfortune benefited a lot of cats through the Ten Lives Club.
2017: Nathan Peterman’s five-interception first half.
Anytime the Kansas City Chiefs have beaten the Bills in a playoff game in the Allen era. Taylor Swift will remind you of that.
Rated as ‘elated’
The beauty of ESPN’s Misery Index is it can be manipulated – if you want to temporarily take ownership of a rival team or simply want to find out how good other fan bases have it.
Plug in the Chiefs, Florida Panthers, Oklahoma City Thunder and Los Angeles Dodgers as your favorite NFL, NHL, NBA and MLB teams, and you are rated as “elated.” To the champions go the spoils, and the good vibes.
Go regional and pick the Cleveland Guardians, Cleveland Browns and Columbus Blue Jackets, and you’re just “woeful.”
Take on the Lone Star-sized combination of the Dallas Stars, Dallas Cowboys, Texas Rangers and Dallas Wings, and you are “flailing.”
Enter a one-pro-team town such as Jacksonville or San Antonio. If you’ve been a longtime fan of the Jaguars, who have been in the NFL since 1995, your fandom is “woeful.” If you’re a lifelong Spurs fan, your fan experience is deemed “pleasant.” Five NBA titles and a roster that included David Robinson, Tim Duncan and Tony Parker puts an organization in good graces.
But if you’re one of those fans whose loyalty crosses boundaries – say, a lifelong Yankees fan from Buffalo who grew up rooting for the Sabres but hopped on the Golden State Warriors bandwagon in the last 10 years, you’re just “meh.”
‘I would probably cry’
Keep in mind that there’s a level of subjectivity to the quiz and how it determines fan misery. Don’t let an algorithm rate – or berate – your passion for your favorite team.
Even if they haven’t made the playoffs since 2011 or their road to the Super Bowl ended at an off-ramp somewhere outside Kansas City.
“Success for different fans, or feelings of elation, probably are from different standards,” Evans said. “You think about the Bills, and they haven’t been able to get over the Chiefs in the last six years or so, but I wouldn’t trade the last six or seven years for the previous 16 or 17 years. But not making a Super Bowl and it making me woeful? Absolutely not.”
Still, what would make a Buffalo sports fan’s misery index tick upward from the ranking of “woeful”?
“As someone who has always tended to lean Sabres-first, when it comes to fandom, if they just made the playoffs,” Evans said. “I’ve told people that if they get there and get swept, I don’t care. Just make the playoffs. Do that, and I would probably cry.”
If ESPN’s Misery Index had to rate that, even in tears, he would probably be elated.
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