Grimsby 2-2 Man Utd (Grimsby win 12-11 on penalties) (Vernam 22′, Warren 30′ | Mbeumo 75′, Maguire 89′)
BLUNDELL PARK — Big fish do famously get battered in Grimsby. But nothing plucked from the North Sea has ever been treated to this kind of humiliation.
It was the most Manchester United end to the most absurd evening. By the end of the contest that United somehow fluked their way to get to a penalty shootout, Ruben Amorim’s new £200m strikeforce was out there, supported by skipper Bruno Fernandes, Mason Mount, Kobbie Mainoo and Joshua Zirkzee.
And they still required a Harry Maguire’s large cranium to avoid a humiliating defeat of epic proportions.
Saved their skin. Or so they thought. Just merely a stay of execution, as Bryan Mbeumo’s penalty miss in sudden death ensured one of the all-time cup sporting upsets got its euphoric ending.
Four hundred million pounds, 711 Premier League appearances between them. And that’s just the starting XI. This would not have been your bog-standard cup giantkilling, when a plucky minnow overcomes an elite top-flight side who have rested their 11 best players.
Grimsby Town, three divisions below, played the might of Manchester United – one of the biggest clubs in the world – off the park. They did not weather an almighty westerly storm. Their goalkeeper did not have to have the game of his life. They deserved their place in the history books.
Even after a shootout success, this was Buster Douglas knocking Mike Tyson out twice. Ben Curtis winning The Open by 10 shots. The Miracle on Ice, but the Americans didn’t have skates on.
Even after sneaking back into the game to get to the shootout, United failed to avoid yet another humbling. Never mind getting sacked in the morning, Ruben Amorim must be considering walking after this. How much more can one man take?
Just when you thought Manchester United had plummeted to unimaginable depths, they remain the gift that keeps on giving.
There were eyebrows raised in the crowd when United’s line-up was read out. Bruno Fernandes had been given a rest, but rarely had a Premier League side named a more star-studded side in the second round of this competition.
You couldn’t tell as the match got underway. United were second to everything. Grimsby’s opener, Charles Vernam’s strike that snuck inside Andre Onana’s post shook Blundell Park, packed to the rafters, right down to the foundations.
If Onana did not cover himself in glory for the opener, his efforts in attempting to punch a short corner clear will have Royal Antwerp’s eyes lighting up as they head into further negotiations over Senne Lammens this week.
“We pissed on your face” came the chant from the terraces. It really was at masochistic levels of humiliation – and it could have been worse if Cameron Gardner’s goal, which would have made it 3-0, hadn’t been controversially disallowed for offside. There is of course no VAR in this competition.
Ruben Amorim has cut a forlorn figure for the majority of his tenure to date, but rarely has he looked as visibly angry as when the Tyrell Warren’s second hit the back of the net. He cannot, 10 months into life as United boss, have ever believed it could get this bad.
It was party time Mariner style. “We only sing when we’re fishing,” greeted the half time whistle. United were taking the bait every time.
The heavens opened after the break as Amorim brought Fernandes and Mbeumo on. Postponement would have been the beleaguered boss’s preference at this point.
The hosts of course tired, with Mbeumo stroking home a fine finish with 15 minutes left, before Maguire stooped to break home hearts at the death.
Fear not, Mariners. Matheus Cunha had this chance to win it in the shootout, but saw his poor spot kick saved. So we went round again, both goalkeepers scored, before Mbeumo fluffed his lines, and the entire town of Cleethorpes hurdled the adverting hoardings after a 12-11 scoreline.
A first clash with Manchester United in 77 years will be talked about for even longer around these parts.
Carabao Cup results elsewhere
Second round
Fulham 2-0 Bristol City
Oxford United 0-6 Brighton & Hove Albion
Everton 2-0 Mansfield Town