29th August 2025
August 28 – Nobby Butcher, the hooligan-inspired Grimsby Town supporter created by comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, would’ve been dancing down Victoria Street after the Mariners turned over the former giants of English football, Manchester United, in the EFL Cup on Wednesday.
One wonders where ‘rock-bottom’ is for United.
The scary thing is that it wasn’t a rear-guard effort by the plucky underdogs. Grimsby took it to the multi-billion pound organisation and played them off the park in an astonishing first 45 minutes that saw them take a deserved 2-0 lead, ultimately leading to a 12-11 penalty shoot-out win. The pitch invasion at the final whistle brought back memories of Hereford Town slaying Newcastle United in the FA Cup seven decades ago.
Now, let’s put this into some form of context. In the last published financial statement in 2024, Grimsby’s turnover was £5.72 million! United have just spent over £200 million in the current transfer window on new signings Benjamin Sesko, Matheus Cunha, Bryan Mbeumo, and Diego León.
The sight of United manager Ruben Amorim hiding in the dugout during the shoot-out may have even softened a heart or two with Manchester City fans who have weathered their own humiliations prior to the injection of Middle Eastern money.
Amorim arrived with much fanfare and will now leave with barely a whimper as he joins the illustrious parade of post-Sir Alex Ferguson failures, each bringing their own unique brand of disappointment.
David Moyes lasted 10 months, transforming the champions into mid-table fodder. Louis van Gaal served up two years of coma-inducing football, somehow managing to make watching paint dry seem thrilling by comparison. José Mourinho’s toxicity infected Old Trafford like a virus, leaving behind a squad of confidence-shattered mercenaries.
Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s “cultural reset” reset the club backwards by a decade. His tactical naivety was masked by individual brilliance and favorable draws, but when reality bit, the ‘baby-faced assassin’ had aged beyond recognition. Erik ten Hag’s much-vaunted Ajax philosophy had more holes than Swiss cheese, as his defensive structures proved as reliable as British weather forecasts.
Now Amorim threatens to outdo them all. At least Moyes had the excuse of following a legend, while van Gaal, Mourinho, and ten Hag won a trophy or two. Amorim’s greatest achievement appears to be convincing United’s board that Sporting CP’s domestic dominance would translate to Old Trafford success.
The warning signs have been there since he arrived in Manchester: tactical confusion and players who look like they’d rather be anywhere else. Tuesday night simply confirmed what many have suspected – a manager who would look out of place at Grimsby Town.
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