(Part of the Reasons Not To Be Cheerful series)
The range of subjects that can be studied these days is extensive. This week I came across an examination paper set for a group who are on a Football Satirical Studies course. They have to sit a topical examination throughout the duration of the course and this week’s paper related to West Ham. I thought you may be interested to read it and perhaps consider your thoughts and answers to the questions that were set. The paper was set before the recent flurry of transfer activity where priority finally looks to have been given to the midfield.
**Football Studies: West Ham United – Crisis & Identity Examination Paper**
**Module**: Premier League Disillusionment 2025/26
**Duration**: 90 minutes – After 45 minutes you are allowed a 15 minute break (time may be added on at the end of each half of the exam at the discretion of the invigilator – just ask if you need more time – you probably will!)
**Instructions**: Answer all questions. Use examples from West Ham’s opening fixtures and broader footballing context. Emotional outbursts are permitted in moderation, although marks will be deducted (whether justified or not) for expletives.
**Section A: Tactical Analysis (30 marks)**
1\. Dissect the defensive structure employed by Graham Potter in the 3-0 defeat and second half capitulation to Sunderland and the 5-1 collapse against Chelsea. How did tactical choices contribute to conceding eight goals in the first two league games, not forgetting three further goals in the 3-2 defeat at Wolves which meant an early exit from the Carabao Cup? Does it make sense to employ three centre halves?
2\. Evaluate the role of Mads Hermansen in West Ham’s early-season form. Consider his save percentage, distribution, and errors leading to goals. Should Potter persist with him or should Areola get another chance? Should the club have considered others e.g. Ramsdale, Victor, Onana and others?
3\. Assess the impact of Mohammed Kudus’ departure and the failure to adequately replace him. How has this affected West Ham’s attacking cohesion and Jarrod Bowen’s effectiveness? Did Tottenham get a bargain or were West Ham pleased to get £55 million for him given his form in the 2024-25 season?
**Section B: Club Culture & Management (30 marks)**
4\. Discuss the psychological effect of starting the season at the bottom of the table after two games and the poorest start ever to a top flight campaign. How might this influence squad morale, fan sentiment, and managerial decision-making?
5\. Critique the board’s transfer strategy. Was the recruitment of Diouf, Hermansen, Walker-Peters and Wilson sufficient? Should greater priority have been given to the midfield, especially the acquisition of players with pace and power and box to box attributes? What does the pursuit of John Victor and their scattergun approach to targets suggest about panic buying and planning?
6\. Karen Brady insists the club “won’t panic.” Debate the merits and risks of board and managerial patience in the Premier League.
**Section C: Creative Reflection (40 marks)**
7\. Write a fictional post-match interview with Graham Potter after the Chelsea defeat. Include tactical justifications, emotional tone, and coded boardroom pleas.
8\. Compose a fan’s open letter to the club, or to an individual such as the Chairman perhaps, expressing frustration, hope, and a plea for authenticity. Draw on themes of tradition, community, and the erosion of identity.
9\. Design a grassroots-inspired reform plan for West Ham. Imagine a club reset: youth investment, supporter involvement, and a return to unpredictability and the West Ham Way.
10\. “West Ham’s start is not just poor – it’s poetic.” Discuss this statement using metaphor, irony, and historical parallels.