There was some gallows humour from Ruben Amorim two days after his lowest ebb as Man United manager at Grimsby.
Amorim holds court at Carrington
Amorim holds court at Carrington
There was the familiar "Hi guys" when Ruben Amorim entered the vast press conference room at Carrington. It was constructed so vastly in adherence with Uefa guidelines. Manchester United will not be participating in any of Uefa's three competitions this season.
And they are already one domestic cup competition down. All of the permanent post-Ferguson managers met their own Waterloo, a defeat that may still give them flashbacks: Olympiakos, Midtjylland, Sevilla, Liverpool and Brentford. For Amorim, it is Grimsby.
Amorim was not averse to some gallows humour. "It's not about the system," he protested. "We lost against Grimsby about the system? In the first half, I didn't know the system of the team!"
He suggested in pre-season he would not be as honest and last week Amorim spoke so slowly it was possible to keep up with the transcription. No need to clear space on the back page for him.
This week, he has favoured those raw reactions that have endeared him to the majority of United supporters and banked goodwill even amid the club's worst season in 51 years. He will be plastered across back-page splashes on Saturday morning.
Amorim is a press officer's nightmare. In 15 minutes on Friday, he uttered the sentences, "sometimes I want to quit", "sometimes I hate my players", "I sometimes hate my kids" and could not promise that he will still be in charge after the September internationals.
"I'm just explaining what you saw is what I saw, what everyone saw," Amorim stressed. "And I tell the truth, sometimes I'm thinking about, especially in a press conference, what I'm going to say. After these kind of moments, I'm not thinking about that. I'm really honest on what I see.
"I cannot say a different thing. You watched the same game that I watched. I'm not going to change the narrative or control the narrative. It is what it is, and I'm just trying to be honest with you guys and with the players."
He is not the only one at United partial to gallows humour. One staff member joked whether it would be Ole Gunnar Solskjaer or Jose Mourinho to take interim charge. The two former United managers were sacked in successive days by Istanbul clubs Besiktas and Fenerbahce this week.
Both would walk to Manchester to replace Amorim. The Grimsby result is a reminder we should never be surprised by anything at United.
Amorim at Carrington on Friday
Amorim at Carrington on Friday
Amorim suggested some of the players feel the club is cursed. "I feel that the players are always thinking about the past. They think there is something in the water here, or in the food. It's nothing, it's in our minds.
"And we just need to focus on the next game. We dropped the level. Now we have to respond in the next game, it's not about the result, it's the way we play.
"So, last game we had some moments that I had that feeling, that when it's tough, everyone is trying to do his own thing, and that is something that we need to change, that feeling. Sometimes things are okay, sometimes we are in a bad moment, but we have a way to do things, and we have to work on that.
Amorim will be in charge against Burnley
Amorim will be in charge against Burnley
"So to work on that is just the next game, it doesn't matter what is in the past, let's focus on the next game so we can respond tomorrow."
Who talks him out of quitting? "Myself! I just need 10 minutes with myself alone. I don't need anyone, but I'm going to be like that.
"When you say I want to quit, it's that, 'f*****g, I want to quit, I don't love the players'. I sometimes hate my kids, so I'm going to be like that! That is not going to change.
"Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's a funny thing, I'm going to suffer. We just need to win some games. So we cannot change that fact. We need to focus on the next game, and if we start winning, things are going to be easier to do."
Amorim looks on at Blundell Park
Amorim looks on at Blundell Park
Amorim was partial to some self-deprecation. Was he confident in his own ability to take United forward? "Yes. It depends on the day!" he chuckled.
"But I'm confident because I saw these players play really well in tough matches and I see it in training, the training is so much better."
He scoffed at the mention of "surprise" at the Grimsby debacle. "I was not surprised, I was shocked in the last game, I was shocked. That's why you see that game, this is not our team, the way we are doing things. So I'm always confident in the way I manage the team.
"And then I'm trying to remind myself if Bruno (Fernandes) scores that penalty, if we have three first opportunities against Fulham, we score a goal. Things will be really different, and sometimes it's that small difference that changes the narrative and you can see it in one week, it looks like a different club."
The gathering started and ended with an address to us guys: "Guys, it’s not the system."