Calamity Man Utd boss looks certain to lave Old Trafford so fill your boots with a bet and there's plenty more in this week's Wardy's Wagers
10:07, 30 Aug 2025
FRANK ILETT
Hair today and hair tomorrow from our Frank
It was another bad week for Frank Ilett. He’s the fella that around a year ago unwisely declared he wouldn’t have a haircut until Man Utd won five games in a row.
What a daft challenge to undertake. There is probably more chance of Donald Trump singing at Taylor Swift’s wedding than Utd winning five on the bounce anytime soon.
The once short-haired lad’s head looks like it’s been eaten by a mutant Kevin Keegan perm on steroids. And this has been only going nearly 330 days.
By the time Utd get five in a row his hair will probably reach the moon. Because Utd are a mess. It’s been a good time for fans of clubs who are rivals to the Red Devils.
They probably thought the happy days were over after they got rid of the calamity boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. But luckily the club replaced him with another dud Erik Ten Hag.
Ruben Amorim
Ruben Amorim looks doomed
And to keep the ball rolling they replaced him with quite possibly the worst boss yet, the hapless Ruben Amorim. He looks as qualified to run a top class football team as Rylan is to give lectures on asylum seeker policy.
The defeat to Grimsby was a big loss, even more so after the club spent almost £200m on a new forward line this summer. Amorim has by far the lowest win percentage of any permanent Manchester United manager since Sir Alex Ferguson, with a return of 16 wins, 12 draws and 17 defeats from his 45 matches so far.
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But its his actions on the sidelines, desperately fiddling a tactics board when 2-0 down and then cowering in the dugout for the penalty shootout, will be the stuff that sees him shown the exit door.
And for the sake of Frank Ilett's barnet, and anyone who has to sit directly behind him at the cinema, the exit can’t come soon enough.
The betting market
( Coral ) - Will Ruben Amorim be Manchester United manager on the 31st of December 2025 5-6 Yes, 5-6 No
STUDIES show that cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It's a case of in one ear and out the udder. Milk your win with a bet on CHARLTON to beat QPR - (Ladbrokes) - 7/5
AT 20, I worried about what everyone thought of me. At 30, I stopped caring what everyone thought of me. At 40, I realised nobody was thinking about me in the first place. Think about your winning with a gamble on READING to beat Port Vale - (Paddy Power) - 8/5
MY wife said she was willing to risk people laughing at her new hat, so I said, ‘On your own head be it.’ Get ahead with a flutter on EUROPE to beat USA in the Ryder Cup next month - (William Hill) - 11/8
I’VE been banned from the Secret Cooking Society. I kept spilling the beans. Cook up a storm with a punt on LIVERPOOL to beat Arsenal (betway) - 6/5