Howe was honest. Newcastle let their fans down with their no-show at the Stadium of Light, he said, and felt the wrath of the anger that followed.
But now comes the chance to put things right, and Howe has challenged his players to be motivated by the prospect of victory and what that would mean rather than the fear of another defeat.
”I’d much prefer to inspire the players than put fear into them," he said.
"It’s a delicate balance. You want the players to think they have to play at their best level, and to think have to execute their best game, all those positive emotions we will be trying to flood into the players. I don’t want them to think they can’t lose."
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Newcastle can't afford to lose, though. Not if they want to avoid another hurtful inquest and not if they want to keep their Premier League season alive.
But Howe's focus, understandably, is not on the worst possible scenario.
"People will define seasons in different ways, I'm not contemplating defeat, I don't know how I can sit here and do that, I'm contemplating trying to win the game, I'm trying to get real momentum into our Premier League season," he said.
The end of Newcastle's Champions League journey at Barcelona in midweek means this is very much the start of a mini-season for the Magpies. It's now all eyes on the Premier League, the eight remaining games and the bid to be playing European football in some form next term.
Newcastle can still make this a relatively successful season, but it would be hard to make a case for that if they fail to beat Sunderland in either of their two games.
For whatever reason, the Magpies badly unperformed in the first game between the sides and, admits Howe, let the fans down.
"I'd agree with that. I think we did in that game, I don't think there's any doubt about it," he said.
"We didn't reach the standards and level of performance that we would pride ourselves on. And the main thing, you just heard me say it many, many times over the years, is effort, commitment. You know, winning our individual duels, winning the battle on the pitch.
"You can do all those things and still lose, but you leave with a feeling that we left it all out on the pitch. And nine times out of ten this season, albeit so many games, I feel the players have delivered that.
"That was one of a collection of small games, I think, this year where we've been disappointed with ourselves.
"And then it's a process you go through to sort of mourn that loss and that performance and then analyse it and come back stronger. And that's what we've tried to do."
Did the December defeat change the perception of the derby at all for Howe?
"I don’t think it did change my view of the fixture," he said.
"The fallout of it was long and painful. It certainly did not help us. There is an extra weight with the fixture in the sense of, you know if you don’t perform, there will be a large and painful baggage that goes with you.
"We don’t want that. It affects future performances and affects the emotion and feeling of the whole city.
"We want all the positives of the game that can carry us on a new run and a new wave of optimism, so you know you’re going into the game on a knife-edge.
"In some respects, that can bring out the best in your players. It’s all the positive emotions we want, because it could be a turning point in our season very much for the better."
The criticism of Newcastle after losing on Wearside was harsh but fair.
"I don't think I was overly surprised because of the way we performed," said Howe.
"The way we performed wasn't good, it wasn't a great spectacle of us and I don't think we were anywhere near a normal rhythm. It was a moment of the season where we were struggling a little bit for our attacking game.
"The fallout was quite long and painful but we try to use that in every experience to try and help us. We don't want that feeling again and we need to make sure our preparation is as good as it can be to help the players."