Our Hull City fan columnist Natalie Murphy on why young footballers need support,not pressure, to fulfil their potential
Lewie Coyle sharing an embrace with his dad Chris
Lewie Coyle sharing an embrace with his dad Chris (Image: Lewie Coyle via Twitter)
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I don’t know about you, but this international break is passing slower than the speed at which cars should, apparently, be driven on the road outside our training ground.
Of course, there are plenty of national team games to catch on TV, but having been to every Hull City game home and away so far this season, being an armchair England supporter is not quite the same.
I did spend a worthwhile half hour on the sofa catching Lewie Coyle’s Big Interview on Sky Sports Premier League though. There wasn’t much new in the programme for Tigers’ fans familiar with the story of this local lad’s rise to Premier League captain. But it was inspiring to hear him talk directly about the ups and downs of his journey and emotional too, to listen as he spoke candidly about dealing with the death of his dad.
Another insight was his pride at having become someone who had achieved their potential. It’s an important message because really, what else could we wish for ourselves and others? Unfortunately, when it comes to football, the pursuit of ‘potential’ can become poisonous.
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My hours spent in the front room, in lieu of having a match to go to, also meant that I caught a piece on Look North about young referees being abused. Anyone who has spent any time at all watching grassroots games will be familiar with this kind of behaviour.
My son, Kasper, has played for local teams since he was about six and now at nearly 17, he still plays every Sunday. In that time, we’ve seen it all, from parents squaring-up to each other in the car park to streams of abuse aimed from the sidelines from adults towards young footballers who are, let’s not forget, still children.
If people behaved like this in any other area of childhood, it simply wouldn’t be tolerated. Take for example, music. As well as being in a band, Kasper plays percussion and I’ve had the privilege of seeing some extraordinarily talented performers at school concerts and the like.
It’s refreshing to experience the warmth and support, so often missing on the sidelines, at these events. Everyone at these concerts wants every child to do well. We’re all in awe of their efforts, whatever their level. In ensembles and groups, there’s an even greater respect for the combined effort, commitment and collaboration it takes to make a performance work – as it is for any team. And everyone watching knows this.
The audience doesn’t heckle loudly or gesture wildly because they’ve decided they don’t like what they are hearing. No-one loses their mind because they think second violin came in too early, therefore ruining the prospects of their own child on trumpet.
People aren’t asked to leave because they are unable to hide their displeasure with the conductor’s interpretation of Pachelbel’s Canon in D. As much as I’m missing Premier League football during this almost three-week hiatus, some of my best memories of watching the game are from my son’s teams – at least, when the spectators are behaving themselves.
One of the stand-out moments was at the end of last season, when, with nothing to play for, his team and the opposition decided to all play out of position for the second-half. Cue lots of laughs, unbridled celebrations when both sides’ usual goalies scored, and some bold tactics from one of the outfield players who’d put on the gloves but preferred to defend with his feet, playing crazily out from the back and shouting ‘modern goalkeeper’ throughout.
These moments, however, are fleeting. Soon, Kasper will be old enough to drive himself to games and maybe he won’t want me and his dad to come and watch. And I’ll miss it terribly. Not the winning, or the cup runs, or the medals. Just being there.
Lewie’s dad did not get to see him play in the Premier League. But he was there for the long trips to training in Leeds when he was growing up. And that’s what matters. Because unlike this international break, it goes so fast.
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