FIVE ASIDES
Premier League
United 0, Bournemouth 3
We have been here before. United lost 3-0 at home to Bournemouth under Erik ten Hag in December 2023. They lost 3-0 at home to Bournemouth under Ruben Amorim in December 2024. And now they’ve done it under Michael Carrick in 2026. Maybe it’s not about the manager? ‘A comedy of errors,’ somebody on Sky called it at half-time. Sad to say, this is not a comedy: it’s a tragedy of errors. Two young centre-backs, one bad decision and one slip on wet grass, 2-0. One young keeper, another bad decision, 3-0. And it’s a tragedy in a broader sense too. United are a famous name laid low by one glaring flaw: being owned by the Glazer family.
Alas, poor Carrick. He doesn’t deserve to carry the can. He’s had to deal with a shedload of injuries and . He’s been let down off the field by the Glazers loading their debt onto the club, by Jim Ratcliffe being a cheapskate and a bigot, by Jason Wilcox buying modest players, by Omar Berrada not insisting on bringing in a left-back and a reserve striker, and by Bruno Fernandes blaming everyone but himself – including the boss.
Carrick has been let down on the field too. By Fernandes going straight from hero to zero, by Diogo Dalot still not learning to cross, by Lisandro Martinez making cardinal errors, by Matheus Cunha not bothering to run back in Como, by several players not twigging that when it’s windy, you send your long shots in harder and lower, because the wind is waiting to carry them into Row Z.
Carrick will probably be sacked in the morning, if not before. But there’s little point in changing the manager if you don’t change the people who have picked the past three managers. Ineos claim to appoint people who are ‘best in class’. That’s not what we see when the camera zooms in on the directors’ box. Berrada is like Andrey Santos, a middling hire from a rival – and now tainted by Man City’s cheating, Wilcox hasn’t been good enough, Ratcliffe should resign as the owner heading the football operation. To see how mediocre he is, you have only to glance at his other clubs: Lausanne are doing even worse than United, Nice only marginally better.
That brains trust needs to include a former United player. Someone decent and dignified, someone honest and honourable, someone who knows the club inside out and loves it, someone who has spent time in the stands, someone who knows the players and cares about the Academy. In other words, Michael Carrick. If they’re going to give him the boot, they should kick him upstairs and make him director of football.
Tim de Lisle is the editor of United Writing, a sportswriter for The Guardian and (in case you’re looking for light relief) a pop critic on Substack. He’s been supporting United since the manager was Wilf McGuinness.